You Can be Right, or You Can Have a Relationship, but You Can’t Have Both!


Often times, couples fall into the same pattern of arguing. To find who truly is at fault, each partner can talk over the other in a futile attempt to prove his or her version of the issue that sparked the argument, is the “right” version.  This only results in a communication break down where no one’s point of view is actually being heard. Sound familiar?

How does one stay connected to their partner even when discussing differences? You can stay connected by welcoming your partner’s perspective and validating it. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with it but you can accept it as valid just as you feel your perspective is.

Consider the adage, “You can be right, or you can have a relationship, but you can’t have both.”  You can’t have both because, just as your perspective is valid, so is your partner’s, even when it’s different from yours.  In relationships there is no one, absolute truth.  If there were, it would definitely not be yours or your partner’s perspective because you are both too emotionally involved to be objective.

Couples who endeavor to have a conscious and intentional relationship welcome the differences between them as opposed to feeling threatened by them.

The next time you find yourself in an argument with your beloved, instead of getting bogged down with deciphering who is right and who is wrong, let your partner know you hear his or her perspective and tell him or her that what they are saying is valid.

Consequently, conflict is resolved right then, leaving more time for connection…and hopefully some fun!