Have you ever requested or mentioned something to your partner only to follow up on it a few days later and hear he or she has no recollection of what you had said? You could attribute it to your partner having poor listening skills but that could lead to feeling resentful and if it happens repeatedly, even lonely. Another, more self-empowering, approach is to ask yourself if you are doing everything you can to set up each communication exchange for success. Often times, we assume it is a good time for our partner to receive whatever information we are trying to impart on him or her whenever it happens to be a good time for ourselves. In reality, it’s probably not a good time. Shouting from the kitchen when your partner is in the next room or talking when your partner is on the internet or watching a program on tv are typical examples of acting on this assumption.
Tip: To set up each communication exchange for success try asking your partner if this is a good time for him or her to listen to you. Your partner may reply yes and give you undivided attention which means looking directly at you and confirming that they have heard you. However, sometimes it just isn’t a good time for your partner. In that case, ask your partner when he or she will be available to give you full attention. Keep in mind, when your partner ask this of you, you probably want to give them a precise time you’ll be available on that same day.